|
All of the followings are copy and paste from emails sent to me. From (name)........other then the quizilla quizs
Hottie
What's Your Personality Type?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are 0% straight
edge
How straight edge are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Joey Tribianni! You love food, ladies,(and if
you're a girl taking this quiz, men) and don't
forget that you're as
cute as a teddy bear!
You're a soap actor, and though you sometimes
seem dumb and goofy, its actually your sweet
heart!
:)
Which "Friend" character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Bill Lumbergh
What Office Space character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
What prep label are you?
CONGRATS!
You're a Sex on the Beach! Your party-hard
eccentricity is exceeded only by your urge to hump like a rabbit. You live by the 'Sex, or be sexed' motto
Hopeless
Flirt
What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
I Love U guys!!! (sara)
In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person
who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or
Smelly Susan.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who
saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who
went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be
embarrassed.
In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who
let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into
tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who would go to a party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up
with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person
who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal
with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go...
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person
who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend
was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't
deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through
anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of
memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance
that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing
you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who
gives you the
>better of the two choices, holds your hand when
you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there,
reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a
little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up
your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person,
and most importantly loves you!
Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the
future...and
>those you have met along the way..Thank you for
being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there. There's never a wrong time to
pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them.
| How To Shower! - (hella funny)(tommy) |
|
Like a Woman
1.
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing
long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique
in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long,
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11.
Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15.
Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
1. Take off clothes while
sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way,
shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises, real or artificial and laugh at
how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash
your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13.
Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open,
wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
Vanity
Which sexy sin are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Which month are you(Sara)
JANUARY Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always
looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize.Hardworking and
productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless
excited or tensed.
Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Homely person.
Loyal. Needs to improve social abilities. Easily jealous. Very Stubborn.
FEBRUARY Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent
and
clever. Changing personality. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when
restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Showing
anger easily. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely
shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes.
Sharp.Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Learns to show emotions.
MARCH Attractive personality Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy.
Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves
attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special
things. Moody.
APRIL Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.Attractive
and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling. Friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless.
Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive.
Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivate oneself and the others. Sickness
usually of the head and chest.
MAY Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated.Sharp
thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually
in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling.
Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirit. Spendthrift.
JUNE Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken.
Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating. Tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental.
Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative.
Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show
character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily
bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.
JULY Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional.Temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and
sparkly. Not revengeful.l Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically
and
mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense
of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be
alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person Waits for friends. Never looks
for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
AUGUST Loves to joke. Attractive Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm
and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself .
Thirsty for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream.Talented in the arts, music and
defences. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to
relax. Hasty and rusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.
SEPTEMBER Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized.
Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Quiet but able to
talk well. Calm and coo.l Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed.
Trustworthy, loyal and honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to
look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to
motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports,
leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Choosy especially in relationships. Loves wide things. Systematic.
OCTOBER Loves to chat. Loves those who loves him. Loves to takes things
at the center. Attractive and suave. Inner and physical beauty. Does not
lie or pretend. Sympathetic. Treats friends importantly. Always making
friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated.
Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance.
Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Soft-spoken, loving and caring.
Romantic !!! Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and
fair. Spendthrift and easily influenced. Easily lose confidence.Loves children.
NOVEMBER Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward.Unique
and brilliant . Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong
clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive.
Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking.Less talkative
but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted-if
there is a will, there is a way. Determined.Never give up. Hardly
becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates
oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships.
Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy.Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
DECEMBER Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with.
Loves to socialize. Loves praise. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest
and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality.
Not egoistic.Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke.
Good sense of humour.
| best inda business |
|
9 THINGS I HATE
ABOUT CERTAIN PEOPLE (sara)
1. People who point
at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my
watch is pal, where
the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who
are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change
the channel manually.
3. When people
say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people
say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it?
Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say
while watching a film "did you see that?" No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.
6. People who ask
"Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something
is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then
there must have been something before it.
8. When people
say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting
for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?
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Article 1: (Abe)
Statement
of Love:
The Kiss
1..
Kiss
on the hand
I adore you
2.
Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends
3.
Kiss on the neck
I want you
4.
Kiss on the lips
I love you
5.
Kiss on the ears
I am just playing
6.
Kiss anywhere
else
lets not get carried away
7.
Look
in your eyes
kiss me
8.
Playing with your hair
I can't live without you
9.
Hand
on your waist
I love you to much
to let you go
Article 2:
The
Three Steps
1.
Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
2.
Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
3.
Guys
& Girls
Close your eyes when
kissing, it is rude to stare.
Article 3:
The Commandments
1.
Thou shall not squeeze
too hard.
2.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss,
but take one.
3.
Thou shall kiss
at every opportunity.
*
Remember *
A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without
some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!
Here
are a few reasons
why guys like girls:
1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo
2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder
3.
How cute they look when they sleep
4.
The ease
in which they fit into our arms
5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world
6.
How cute they are when they eat
7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while
8.
Because
they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside
9.
The way they look
good
no matter what they wear
10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though
you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth
11.
How cute they are when they argue
12.
The way her hand always finds yours
13.
The way
they smile
14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the
call ID
after you just had a big fight
15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even
though you know that
an hour later....
16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice
for them
17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"
18.
Actually
...
just the way they kiss you...
19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry
20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly
21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt
22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even
though we don't admit it)!
23.
The way they say
"I miss you"
24.
The way
you miss them
25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the
world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they
would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever
they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths
of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable
consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would
do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt.
| HOW MANY HORSES DO U SEE? |
|
| (THERE ARE 8! ONLY SMART PEEPS WILL FIND THEM ALL ) from CAL |
TO MY DEAR WIFE: (sara)
During the past year I have tried to make love
to you 365 times. 
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average
of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
54 times the sheets were clean
17 times it was too late
49 times you were too tired
20 times it was too hot
15 times you pretended to be sleep 
22 times you had a headache 
17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
16 times you said you were too sore
12 times it was the wrong time of the month
19 times you had to get up early
9 times you said weren't in the mood
7 times you were sunburned
6 times you were watching the late show
5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo 
3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
9 times you said your mother would hear us
Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was
not satisfactory because: 
6 times you just laid there
8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling
4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
1 time I was afraid I had hurt you
because I felt you move
KEEP READING.......
==========================================================
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here
are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:
5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat  
36 times you did not come home at all
21 times you didn't cum
33 times you came too soon
19 times you went soft before you got in
38 times you worked too late
10 times you got cramps in your toes
29 times you had to get up early to play golf
2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the
balls
4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
2 times you had a splinter in your finger
20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all
day
6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc.
on TV
Of the times we did get together:
The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing
the sheets.
I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said
was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?" 
The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying
to breathe.
Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.
This game has been played since 1996.
You must send this letter to 7 people.
On the 5th day someone will ask you out or say "I love you."
This is not a joke.
It has worked for many years.
If you break the chain,
you will have bad luck with guys/girls forever.
This is just for future readers.
This began in 1996,not much of a past, but it works.
So here are the rules:
If you read this on a Sunday,wish
for a good week 
If you read this on a Monday, wish for money 
If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love  
If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success 
If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything you want
If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot date
 
If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an important phone
call 
| MY FAVORITE |
|
|
| Happy New Year |
(from Angie)
Did you know that you can tell from the skin
whether a person is sexually active or not?
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests
find that when woman make love
they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which make hair shiny and
skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your
chances of suffering
dermatitis,skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you
piled on during that
romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take
up. It stretches and
>tones up
just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming
20 laps,
and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression.
It releases the chemical
endorphin into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and
leaving you with a feeling
of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you
will be offered. The sexually
>active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle
sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.
IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist
away. Kissing encourages
>saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay,preventing
plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking
session can release the
tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy
nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
| cool paintjob |
|
The Rose (from Rose)
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also
Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with
pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to
her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the
years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would
always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year
on this day.
My love for you will always grow, with every
passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses
would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before
this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would
pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before
the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work
out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very
special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his
smiling face.>>
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite
chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting
there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without
her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become
her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting
by her door.
She brought the roses in, and then just looked
at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the
florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain,Why would someone
do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a
year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would
want to know.
The flowers you received today, were paid for
in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing
to chance.
There is a standing order, that I have on file
down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get
them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you
should know,
He wrote a special little card...he
did this years ago. Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should
be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears
now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to
get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written
her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is
what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been
a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome. I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real. Or if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love
we shared made anything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not
to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses
will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses, think of
all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know
I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness, while
living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop, When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day, in case you
have gone out. But after his last visit, he will
know without a doubt
To take the roses to the place, where
I've instructed him. And place the roses where we are, together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it. Someone who makes you
laugh until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe that there really
is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you that there really is
an unlocked door just
waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship. This is the sacred
RED ROSE.
| not milk!!!! |
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| OOOYYYYEEAAAA |
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